Photo by Rhett Wesley from Unsplash.com
What is a ‘spiritual download’ ?
Let’s start this post off by defining “spiritual download”. They can actually be a lot of things. In my own words, they’re just… suddenly knowing. For example, a sudden idea for a blog post (aha!), or an idea for a painting. They can even be solutions to problems you’ve been trying to figure out – like a math question, when suddenly you realize what you’ve been doing incorrectly, and now you can solve it! They can be bits of inspiration, or nudges from the Universe. They can be sudden urges to compliment or call someone. They’re “ideas” or “data” the come out of “nowhere”. Did you know that Albert Einstein’s sudden knowing of the Law of Relativity came to him in a download? Yup.
“I’ve just been existing…”
Every day I’d do the same things… wake up, go to work, come home, eat, shower, maybe an hour of family time and being “present” and then to bed. Wake up, do it for 4 more days in a row . . . then be so burnt out by the weekend, that nothing even inspired me anymore. I was at a point where I had to force myself to do things with my family. Normal family things that should have been lighting me up. A trip to the zoo? A park day? Out for a stroller ride or walk? I couldn’t even enjoy being a mother to my organic womb fruit (I say that with so much love).
It broke my heart. I wanted so badly to enjoy being a mother and wife. Everyday, I’d beat myself up for not being able to (what’s wrong with me?!). Time on Earth was running out . . . the days that they’re small are gone before you know it. I thought I was content with my life… or at least that’s what I tried to tell myself (I had a decent job, most of my needs were met, etc). And my ego believed it because I was safely bundled in my comfort zone. My soul though… my soul was crying, screaming, and begging to be heard. And I somehow, just kept ignoring it…
My Spiritual Download : The 20GB Download That Changed My Life
The thing is, I didn’t realize that it was my soul that was in such distress. Honestly, I thought my ego and soul were one in the same (lmao, I know, right?). I figured I just needed some help, like a lot of people do. I mean, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. So I medicated my symptoms of living a life out of alignment with some antipsychotics, and antidepressants. And viola~ they’ve helped tremendously. I actually still take my medications. However, something was still off. I was completely unsatisfied with my life when it came to purpose. I knew there was something else out there. Working for the majority of our lives in order to afford existing… and then dying just didn’t sit right with me, ya know?
As for the actual download . . .
At the beginning of October 2021, SOMETHING (spoiler alert : it was my higher self and intuition) led me to listening to Kathrin Zenkina’s (known for/as Manifestation Babe) podcasts. In the process, I was reminded about the concept of manifestation, law of attraction, quantum leaping, being a child of the universe, etc. For about 3 weeks, I kept getting “clicks” after clicks, after clicks (that’s what I prefer to call downloads). It was as if I had my very own “big bang”. I suddenly remembered that I did, in fact, have a purpose gifted to me by the cosmos. Once you know something, you can’t “un-know” it.
I put my foot down, and decided to devote myself to living my truth. After all, I had nothing to lose, and everything to gain. Doing so however, isn’t as easy as 2+2=4. Just discovering what your truth is can be a project of its own. I have an incredible amount to re-learn about myself, and how the universe works. Deciding where to start was a challenge enough – I wound up obtaining so much information so fast.
Who am I?
Who am I? Definitely not who I thought I was . . . but honestly if you were to ask me that before my big download, I wouldn’t have known either. “Name’s Landie. 27. Mother, Wife. Electrician at a trailer plant”. Boy, that really tells ya a lot, don’t it? Why is it so important to know who we are anyway? Why can’t we just go on existing without really caring? Maybe it has something to do with the ego, I’m not sure. Regardless, I’ve learned enough thus far to confidently say this : the more you know about yourself, the easier life is. How easy life is depends very little on outside circumstances. If someone would have told me that before my big spiritual download, I would have looked at them like they had 3 heads. But hear me out . . .
What the ever-loving f*** is ‘human design‘? I had NO IDEA what Human Design was but discovering just the basics has helped me immensely so far in figuring out how my design works alongside my personality (who we THINK we are). Digging deeper and studying my own human design is going to be a big part of this journey.
Human Design is a revolutionary system that maps your personal energy field, giving precise and profound insight into the energetic makeup of your conscious and unconscious mind. It’s a system that shows you how you were built, and how to best respond to the world around you.innertruth.org
Okay, yikes. I am going to sit here and willingly type this : I never once thought astrology had anything at all to do with how my life flows. Remember the first time (maybe in school) you read your horoscope? When you were younger and just trying to stand out, or compare signs with your friends? Maybe determine whether some one was girlfriend/boyfriend material based on the day they were born? I personally never resonated with my zodiac sign. Everything I’d ever read pertaining to what an Aries was supposed to be . . . was my complete opposite. I’ve tossed astrology to the side as pure nonsense until now. So, aside from human design . . . I’m also on a quest to learn to read and understand my own natal birth chart.
I want my journey to help and inspire you, too
While my human design and natal charts are unique to me, I want to share my journey with YOU. I want to be that inspiration for you. I’m telling you that there is definitely more to life, and it begins with a spiritual journey (that’s often the result of a spiritual download!). I encourage you to look into your own! Increasing your consciousness, and living your human life in alignment with your unique soul design brings forth amazing things! When I’m in line to living my truth, I can’t help but experience the most magical euphoria and soul-hugging bliss. Of understanding, belonging, and love. Upon further reflection, it was the lack of faith I had in myself (not listening to my intuition) that held me back for so long. Trust yourself. Believe yourself. Listen to your intuition.